running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
