We won't sleep together?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
