I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
