Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
