I feel great
I just peed on a car
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just cropdusted the office
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
