I am puke
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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