He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
