if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
