I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
