Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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