when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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