The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
