I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
