I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
