did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Blood and glitter go together right?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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