I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
