I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
