Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
