it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
