I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
