are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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