all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
