life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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