Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
