genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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