did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
