i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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