what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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