you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
