hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
