I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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