I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
