3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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