it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
