That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
