so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
