In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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