You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
