you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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