he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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