There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Randomize
