she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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