just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
