the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
