I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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