69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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