ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
