well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
