Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
