im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
