did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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