on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
