even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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