after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
