my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
